Difficulty
by rise-fall
Summary: After Kat storms off in in "Light My Fire" and leaves him alone on the roof, Patrick struggles to find the words that he should have said.


10 Things I Hate About You and all its wonderful characters aren't mine. I just like the write about them, haha. :)

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"Dammit, Stratford. Why are you so difficult?"

He wanted to jump. He wanted to see if breaking a leg would get her attention, if it was 'worth it', like she said. Now, he doubted if she would ever speak to him, let alone visit him in the hospital.

He sunk to the ground, leaning his head back against the cool, cement wall. He should have just kept his mouth shut and kept kissing her.

Well, maybe not shut… he laughed to himself.

He couldn't think about that now though. How on Earth she had gotten the idea that he thought she was easy was beyond him. And he hadn't meant to infer that she was a slut- it came out differently than he expected. He shouldn't have even tried to explain. When he talked to her, it never came out sincerely, was usually laced with what she herself had deemed sexual harassment, and always ended with either a bleeding toe or a seriously bruised ego… both of which were his.

"I can't give up." If it was any other girl, he would have. But she wasn't just another girl- she _had_ almost taken him out with a car door the first time he saw her. He smiled, still unable to get that first day with the very pissed off face of Kat Stratford out of his head. She challenged him in everything. If he said no, she would very passionately say yes, whether she actually believed it or not. Rather than give into him, she would deny him, like that one day in auto shop when he had informed that he wanted to go on a ride with her. Maybe he hadn't explicitly said it, but she understood exactly what he was asking and fired back with an excuse to keep their distance. He remembered biting his tongue as she drove away, scolding himself for suggesting it in the first place.

"Seems like I shouldn't speak." The week that the two were 'keeping their distance', she had given it her all. He had seen her once and for only a few seconds. Even in class, she had managed to remain invisible, sitting in front of her Goth friend, who completely blocked his view of her. After the bell had rung, no matter how quickly he got up, she was always gone. By the time he got to my bike (which he made sure to park next to her every day in hopes of forcing her to acknowledge him), she was always gone. Every day for a week, she successfully avoided him, no matter how much effort he put into stalking her. She was just too good at this.

Never had he been defeated like this. Sure, he had lost his fair amount of fights, but this was different. He wasn't just losing to her in a game of tag- she had him falling hopelessly in love with her, desperately trying to get her attention like they were in elementary school all over again.

"This is ridiculous," he muttered to himself. Since when did the infamous murderer/cannibal, Patrick Verona, obsess over a girl? When he accused her of being the obsessed one, she had just brushed it off as another one of his jokes. Little did she know that it hadn't been. He had let a little bit of his true feelings escape that day and rather than confront it himself, he chose to spin it around so he could justify his own addiction. If she had an obsession, then he could have one too.

"My mind is so twisted. Probably qualifies as psychotic too." He smirked to himself and then he heard a chuckle. He looked up quickly to see Kat, leaning against the door. What the hell was she doing back here? Hadn't she booked it, fuming at him, just a little while ago? And she was laughing at him too? He gaped at her, unsure of whether he was dreaming or not.

"It'd have to be for you to eat another human being," she joked, a little uneasy.

Rather than ask her why she had come back, he buried whatever he had just started to reveal and replaced it with that suave charm that he was so well known for. The revelation that he could possibly be deeply in love with Kat threatened to make itself known and he knew he couldn't keep his detached cockiness up for long.

"I told you already, I'm a vampire. It's what we do," he smirked. She looked a little on edge and she still had traces of anger from earlier etched in her face. He stood up before sitting on the edge of the wall, the same place she had found him before.

She didn't answer and stayed by the door, her hand resting on the handle. He knew she was waiting for him to say something else, but he couldn't. He had dug up a part of himself that he wasn't too keen on dealing with yet, only to be interrupted by the girl that caused it. He had to put a cap on those feelings before he could even attempt to patch up what he had just broken.

Unfortunately, that wasn't going too well. All he could do was stare at her and that wasn't helping. She tapped her foot restlessly, impatiently awaiting what he expected was an apology. If she'd stop glaring at him, he might be able to give her one, albeit a mangled one that would undoubtedly come out differently than he wanted.

Struggling, he turned himself around, so he looked back at the brushfire, his back towards her. He heard her huff and stomp over. He tried composing him and looked over his shoulder at her, halfheartedly smirking. She rolled her eyes then smirked and he quirked an eyebrow, confused. Had he finally driven her insane with all his tormenting?

That's when he felt her hands touch his back and he reveled in her touch if just for a moment. He suddenly realized what she was doing- she was trying her hardest to push him off the wall. He reacted quickly, swiftly turning around and grabbing her wrists. That didn't deter her at all and he couldn't help but chuckle as she used all her weight to push him over. She was at least a half a foot shorter than him and probably weighed less than a stack of pillows. There was no way possible way she could force him over the side. She was strong, but not that strong.

"Now, now, Kat, no need to get violent." She glared daggers at him. "If I'm going over, I'm taking you with me." He smirked, this time a true one, invigorated by their little scuffle. Something about fighting with her calmed him. Another reason to add the list of reason why he had a horribly twisted mind.

"Doubtful, very doubtful." She vehemently removed his fingers from her wrists and stood back from me. "I hope you go over head first. Not that it'd really matter, considering the lack of brain cells you possess." He laughed, causing her to lunge at him and make another attempt at pushing him over. He caught her wrists again and pulled her towards him, forcing her to look him dead in the eye. She squirms, uncomfortable at the close contact. He second guesses himself, half wishing he hadn't pulled her so near- this could head in the wrong direction quickly if he didn't hold back. He stares back at her and her eyes show how hurt she is, presumably from his actions earlier.

"You're too close, Verona. I thought I already told you about personal space." He smirks, pulling her even closer. He can't help but love the way she feels. She knows exactly what he's thinking and rolls her eyes.

"Why did you come back? And, don't pretend it was just to insult me." She stares at him, mouth wide open. She sputters, the syllables not forming coherent words. He's in as much disbelief as she is. He should be apologizing, but somehow the wires are getting crossed in his brain and he's mocking her.

"Cop to it, you couldn't stay away." He can't stop himself. The words are bubbling out and he watches as she gets more and more angry. "It's alright, Kat, no one's going to hear. We're all alone. Tell me how you really feel." And he knows she's reached her limit when her knee tries to make a pass at his lower extremities.

"I. Hate. You." She spits back at him, trying to pull away. "And to think, I came back to give you another chance… so you could explain yourself! I ran off before I even let you finish your little you-aren't-like-other-girls speech. I thought I was being rude, cutting you off like that! I thought for a minute that maybe you had something of importance to say. But you don't! You never do, you just joke around and never take anything seriously! The funny thing is, I'm not even surprised! I didn't expect anything less of you!" She was fuming now- her face was red and tears were starting to well up at the corner of her eyes. She tried turning away, but he grabbed her chin, forcing her to look back at him. He hastily let go though- he couldn't look her in the eyes. They were shining with this raw emotion that he knew they had both hidden away. Only this time, she wasn't holding back and it looked like this little game they had been playing was quickly coming to an end. He wasn't winning and neither was she. She was slowly taking back control of herself, erecting her walls and shutting herself away.

"Kat…" She stared at him and he struggled to speak. He hadn't expected it to be this hard.

"Typical," she whispered, turning away. She tried to distance herself again, but he just held tighter. He couldn't let go, not now. He knew he'd never have another chance if he let her go now.

"We're done here. Let me go." He shook his head, trying to grasp the thoughts swimming around in his head and voice them.

"I'm serious. Get your hands off of me, Verona." Again he shook his head.

"Stop calling me 'Verona'- my name is Patrick." She glared at him, as if saying '_this is what you've got to say to me...?_'

"As I said before, Verona, let. me. go."

"As I said before, it's Patrick." He mentally slapped himself. Kat looked at him like she was about ready to murder him and those were going to be his last words? God, he needed to get control of himself.

"Alright, fine, _PATRICK_, let me go." She emphasized his name, before trying to pull away again. He could tell that she had lost all her patience by now. "Really, is this how we're going to spend the rest of the night? You, holding me hostage, not saying anything?"

"I'm trying, Kat," he whispered, a little stunned by how quiet it came out. She looked shocked to say the least, her mouth dropping to form an 'o'. He sighed, "Obviously, I'm not the best at speaking my mind."

She snorted in agreement.

"That isn't exactly helpful," he continued and she bit her lip. She nodded her head slightly, as if apologizing. Sure, he loved the banter they always kept up, but right now, it reminded him of an easier way out- _sarcasm_. He took a deep breath, before looking her in the eyes. She stared back, waiting.

"Kat… it's hard for me to admit," He breathed in and she seemed to be hanging on every one of his words, "but I can do it. I'm more afraid of losing you than I am of telling you that I think I'm in love with you." She just looked back at him, a few tears slipping down her cheeks, and laid her forehead on his chest, so he wouldn't see her crying. He placed a hand on top of her head, smoothing her hair down, as she grabbed fistfuls of his shirt and sobbed into his chest.

If only he had just said that earlier, maybe she wouldn't be bawling.

"I just don't know how. I don't know how to show and tell you without making a complete ass out of myself. Earlier, I was trying, but it didn't come out how I planned. And when you took it offensively, I freaked out… everything spun out of control." Now the words wouldn't stop coming and Kat looked up at him.

"I hadn't meant for you to think that I didn't want a relationship. I just… I don't even know what I meant. Hell, I'm not exactly boyfriend material, but I want to try. That's what I was trying to say. You don't expect me to be perfect and you understand that I can't always make you happy." She looked puzzled, trying to grasp what he was saying.

"I don't want to disappoint you, but I'm human. I can't help it. I've already done it so many times, I know, but if we were together, I'd feel even worse for making you unhappy and I don't want to do that… I want you to be happy." He stopped rambling and let go of her, realizing how much he was crushing her against him.

She pulled away from him a little more so she could look him in the eye, placing her hands in his and giving them a small squeeze. Her tears were drying, but she was still puffy-eyed and blotchy. He frowned and placed a hand on her cheek, wiping away what tears were remained.

"See, look at what I do to you now and we haven't even been out on a date yet." Frustrated, he ran one of his hands through his hair, but made sure to keep a hand on her cheek. If she was going to run away, then he was going to enjoy every last minute of her touch.

She gave him a small smile and reached out, wrapping her arms around him. He was shocked, but followed suit, mashing her against him again. She rested her cheek against his chest for awhile before looking up at him.

"Well, Patrick, I think we've made excellent progress today." A smirk appeared on her lips and he couldn't help but return it with one of his own. Maybe he wasn't in as deep of trouble as he thought he was. "But, you've got a long way to go there, buddy."

"Really?" She smiled, removing her arms from his waist and wrapping them around his neck.

"Yes, you do. And I plan on helping you out." He brought her closer, their foreheads touching. She didn't need to tell him that she loved him. She didn't need to tell him a damn thing, just as long as she was speaking to him.

"Ah, the great Kat Stratford's going to grace me with her help, huh?"

"You bet. I mean, you may have killed people, but you're no match for my father. He'll eat you alive."

He chuckled, "Oh, goody, one of my own kind."

"Come on, I know you're afraid, Verona." He quirked an eyebrow and she rolled her eyes. He wasn't going to let her keep getting away with calling him that for much longer.

"You've got me, Kat, I'm horribly afraid." Her finger tangled itself around one of his curls as he smiled at her. She knew he wasn't afraid of her father or anything else she threw at him- he didn't want to be hurt, just like her. "Really, your father sounds terrifying."

They both smirked and he leaned in, closing the distance and kissing her.

_fin._

Hopefully that wasn't too long and drawn out! I imagine Patrick having a hard time admitting anything, let alone give in and say he's in love with Kat.

Please review and gimme some feedback! :)

Thanks for reading.


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